This sad case illustrates the need to ensure that you choose a solicitor who is going to give you objective advice and who will represent you in the way that you wish. Some clients, injured by the breakdown of their relationship do want to lash out and some do use their solicitors to fuel that grievance. It is not a strategy that works. In these situations you reap what you sow. If you open with a furiously aggressive letter, that is what you are likely to get back, and so it starts.  

When a couple have children, they will need to communicate on some level over practical arrangements, perhaps for years to come. Allowing them to remain at loggerheads and not attempting to diffuse the situation can have serious long-term implications for them and, more importantly, their children, and their relationship with their children.

Not all clients want to be reasonable but they should be given advice about the consequences of that approach. If they don't receive or hear that advice, they may end up as these parties did, with a roasting from a judge, and without any money. Similarly lawyers receiving instructions of this nature have a choice. You can take a firm and robust stance without being aggressive and unreasonable. It is a fine balance.

Remember that you can change solicitors if you do not like the approach being taken and the comments being made on your behalf. Sometimes such a change can unlock the key to a settlement by re-opening channels of communication. It is much easier to take that step than many clients believe. If you are having any doubts, simply taking a second opinion may prove enlightening.